Birthday

I’m 48 today.
I crawl from bed a bit slower but from a sleep still filled with dreams of flight, light and the blush of desire.
Will I wear my trousers rolled?
I laugh hard and often to cut the air, clear my vision and leave sweet notes of folly hanging.

I’m 48 today.
I have a cat.
My thicker shadow mimics my dance and occasionally snags on peaks of regret.
I love my friends too little and my hesitancies too much.

I’m 48 today.
2 X 24
3 X 16
4 X 12
This means nothing.

I’m 48 today.
I’m often alone but remain buoyed by the support and love of those who offer it.
Childlike wonder and childish desire tease my judge and jury into submission.
I enjoy gin and it seems to enjoy me too.

I’m 48 today.
I have a father who is slipping away and a mother who has never been stronger.
My warehouse is full of stilled gestures, pleading expressions and dust.
I will not get a second cat.

I’m 48 today.
And tomorrow I boldly head towards 49.

 

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